10 Things I wish someone would have told me before going to college


AA women college


Think of college as a roller coaster: you stand in line with anticipation because you heard it would be fun, you get on kind of nervous for what’s to come and then you climb up the hill slowly preparing yourself to experience some of what you heard about and more. You reach the top and then suddenly you fall. You may fall feeling excited because it was everything you thought it would be or you may fall farther than you thought with a feeling of uneasiness.  With all the twists and turns you endure you will look back laughing at that fact that you were so nervous in the beginning and will be able to tell others that it honestly was not too bad. Well, I’m still on this roller coaster called college, but here are 10 things I wish someone would have told me while I was standing in line waiting to get on, so that I would be prepared for the big drop at the end.


College is expensive. Don’t let people fool you into thinking that once you go off, everything will be dandy and your parents will always be there with a lil chunk of change to save you. No. You will need money for food, money for books, money to get your hair and nails did. You will need money. So, before you go off plan to look for a job or if you’re already in college take some time to make a financial plan. For me, I had to sit down and make a budget for myself. I had to downsize on my meal plan that was costing me thousands and decide to put money in my savings WITHOUT touching it. Budgeting is HARD (can I get a witness somebody?!) but it is a skill we all as women need to attempt to master.


  1. Friends will come, friends will go.

When I started college in my freshman year, I had so many friends. Some friends I knew from my hometown of Richmond, and others I gained while transitioning into college. As the years have gone by, I have lost a number of friends for a number of reasons, some I may understand and some I truly couldn’t even tell you. When I look back, I am grateful for the people I have lost, because it has taught me the value in true friendships. You soon realize that it’s about quality over quantity. Of course, you should be ok with mending broken friendships, but sometimes it’s best to move on to make room for positivity and prosperity for yourself.


  1. It’s ok to not be ok.

College is one of the most stressful experiences I’ve ever encountered. You go from being surrounded by family, to having to decide who and what you want to be surrounded by for yourself. It can get very difficult and easy to feel alone, but in college you are NEVER alone. Most of everybody you may walk past is facing the same issues, if not more than you. If you are truly stressed out take some time out to destress. Listen to some inspirational music, hit the gym for a quick workout or even sit down have a talk with your home girl/homeboy that knows how to lift your spirits. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help if it gets too tough. Almost every college/university has counseling services.


  1. Get involved

College is all about NETWORKING. I cannot stress that enough. Once you venture out and figure out your interests you will soon realize that there are a network of people who have the same interests as you and can help you do bigger and better things. Join the choir or become a member of the intramural basketball club. Once you engage yourself, you’ll have a support system of folks just like you.


  1. Find your balance

Balance is the major key to success when keeping your sanity in college. The workload will become overwhelming unless you make time to hang out with your girls, hang out with bae or just hang out with yourself. Being involved can also help you find balance as well. I am involved in a couple service organizations, and I also model and African dance as well. These all together help me to have some stress relief and keep myself focused on getting my schoolwork done.


  1. A’s over Baes

Do not, I repeat DO NOT let your Man Crush Monday become the reason why you miss class on Monday. Make sure that you put your schoolwork as your number one priority. Spending time with your boo should never become such a distraction that you fall behind in your schoolwork or start missing out on important events for your professional development. Make sure that your mate respects your hustle and encourages you to stay on track.


  1. Make time for family

One thing I truly have missed out on while being away at college, are the simple moments with family. You get busy, overwhelmed and let’s be honest sometimes being around family can add to that stress. Making time to just be with family can remind you of the good people you have standing behind you. There may be family members who appreciate that even though you are bus on the go that you take time to call them or even stop by. You never know they may slide you some money and you can also get you a good home cooked meal too. Don’t miss out on the cornbread and collard greens!


  1. Be you unapologetically!

You are you and that is your power. Often times, it can be very hard to stay true to yourself. College makes this especially true, because of all the stresses and changes you may go through. While going through all of this remember to be true to who you are and who you wish to become. Do not be swayed by what everyone else may be doing, because we all have our own unique pathways to take. If you want to change your hair every week do that! If you choose not to drink while all of your friends do, then stay true to that. If you want to change your wardrobe every single year then DO YOU BOO BOO.


  1. Raise your awareness

College has taught me so much about myself, but even more about others. As a black woman I have experienced discrimination and misogyny, but as a student I have learned that I have to be aware of my privilege. What is privilege? Privilege describes the different advantages we may have over others that we do not necessarily have to think about. For example, I am a Black Woman and that has many disadvantages BUT I am able bodied, healthy, and also a college student. Some people do not have the same opportunities and that is what college has taught me. Be humble and raise your awareness of the world around you. We are the leaders of the next generation and it is our duty to be the change.


  1. Step out your comfort zone

College will force you to change your perception. It will force you to work on group projects with people you may not know or you may dislike. You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Most importantly, college will challenge you professionally. You will have to unlearn so much that you have learned in high school and you know what? YOU WILL SURVIVE.

(photo: ebony.com)

SharronSharron is a 19 year old Emerging Professional in the VCU School of Social Work, double majoring in African American Studies with a minor in Psychology. She is a Richmond, Virginia Native currently working through organizations at VCU to reach out to the community and help those in need. In 2015 She along with a few other students majoring in African American Studies formed a student organization called the African and African American Student Empowerment Project (AASE) where she serves as the Founding President. Today, the organization caters to fostering a safe space for students to have conversations about issues in the Black community as well as giving back and serving others. In the fall of 2015, she was initiated into the Eta Theta Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta, Sorority Inc. where she serves as the 2nd Anti-Basileus on the Executive Board. Sharron wears many hats, but she is extremely passionate about being a part of the solution to the social issues surrounded around minorities. In her free time you can catch her vibing to Neo-Soul tunes to the likes of Erykah Badu, hanging out with her girls, or putting in work at the gym.

Don’t Give Up




At the age of 16 I had to take on such huge responsibilities. Becoming the matriarch of my family at such a young age was so hard on me. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, did most of the shopping, and made sure my younger siblings were maintaining good grades in school. All while attending school myself. There were many days I contemplated dropping out because I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. My grades started dropping drastically and my attendance was even worse, but I paid that no mind. I always thought to myself if my own family could care less about my wellbeing and my grades, why should I? It wasn’t until I had a long talk with my pre-calculus teacher, Mr. Brennan, that I became fully aware of my unrealized ability.

On the first day of my senior year I remember walking in this freezing cold room filled with dull faces and quickly noticing that I was the only African American in the occupied space.. It got so quiet when I strolled in. You could seriously hear a rat pee on cotton. We started doing work right away and all of a sudden he yelled “Ms. Alston, what’s the answer?” I wasn’t paying attention so I had no idea.  I didn’t care about passing at all. I was just in attendance so my dad wouldn’t end up in court on my behalf.  I made up some random number and then everyone burst out in laughter. I even heard this guy say “what a dummy.” I was so embarrassed and Mr. Brennan could tell. He pulled me to the side after class that day and said “Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve all gotten a question or two wrong before, but from looking at your records and talking to your previous geometry teacher, I know for a fact you knew that answer. I know you’re smart, I see your potential, and I know you won’t disappoint me or yourself from this point forward.” I thought long and hard about what he said, and he was right.  Ever since that day I began taking school a lot more seriously. My days were still tough because I continued playing the “parent” role, but I made time to do whatever was necessary to graduate.  It felt good knowing that someone cared. He even bragged about my intelligence to his other students, and he always made sure I knew that I could  be great at anything I put my mind to. My GPA rose tremendously and I ended up having the highest average in that class. Just about everyone was asking me, the “dummy,” for help.  It felt amazing to prove so many people, even myself, wrong.

If you’re struggling with school and think it’s impossible to pass I just want you to know nothing worthwhile comes easy. You will face challenges whether you’re raising a child, working nonstop, or even just piling yourself up with too much work. There will be moments you’ll doubt your ability to succeed, but don’t give up. Don’t let your doubts defeat you. There might be days you’ll feel as if you have no one to confide in. No one who will even begin to understand what you’re going through, but at the end of the day all you need is yourself.  Believe in yourself. You can do it; just wait it out and try your best, and I promise it will get better.

(photo: uptownmagazine.com)

FantasiaFantasia Alston is a 22 year old free spirit  and visionary who spends most of her time  writing poetry, reading (preferably mystery books), and doing whatever she can to help better the community. Whether it be volunteering at the nearest homeless shelter or picking up any litter found on the solid surface of the Earth. She also enjoys painting whatever comes to mind, cooking, meditating,  and taking long walks to nowhere.  She currently resides in Columbia, SC, but grew up 3 hours away in a beautiful, yet small, city named Murrells Inlet. She is the second oldest of 8 children, and the eldest daughter. Being the matriarch of the family was tough on her, but she managed to stay strong for her younger siblings and remained focused  to complete school. Although she graduated high school with an outstanding  GPA, and  always had a passion for attaining knowledge, Fantasia continuously put college on the back burner. She was lost and didn’t want to push herself into a mainstream culture where you have to graduate from high school by 18, graduate from college by 22, start working full-time in the corporate world immediately, and then get married, buy the proverbial house with the white picket fence and have kids. That might’ve been  a great idea for her fellow classmates, but not her. After years of soul searching and finding out what career would bring  her the most joy in life, she has decided that earning her degree would be best. She now has plans  to attend a university and work towards becoming a child psychotherapist.

You Don’t Have to Like School


school hallway blur


My mother always told me that I had to do well in school. She never showed me how, but it was drilled in my head for as long as I could write that I was supposed to be ‘smart’ and do well in school to uplift my family and my race.

Honestly, I never even liked school. I always felt like someone else in the classroom, save for when I was sharing or writing an essay, creating art performing a play. I felt stifled being forced to learn many difficult things that did not benefit my mood or my future. To top it all off, I was the ‘contaminated’ kid. Talk or befriend me and you were automatically a target in elementary school. I was a social outcast and although middle and high school wasn’t as bad as elementary school, I never regained my appreciation for school. I skipped a lot, and being in the academic environment gave me headaches. So, why am I even here?

In my junior year of high school I was convinced I was going to illustrate and create comic book characters. I had a low GPA at that time and I was going to spend all of my time drawing so I could be good enough to get out of school and never return. One day, my peers and I were having a conversation about college, perhaps brought about by our teacher and I listened to what they we’re saying. Everyone wanted money. No one really had a drive to learn; it was always a decision made for them before they could even speak. I didn’t want to go. The sedentary lifestyle wasn’t for me. I wanted to do and make… and that’s when I really learned what school was about. My mother, although pushing me to make a name for myself in school, never really explained how to get in to college or what exactly what was. She never explained to me the importance of a good work ethic in high school; she only said that it was something I had to maintain. I think my mother gave up on me a long time ago. I couldn’t blame her. But I did want to prove her wrong.  And I wanted to go to school- not to prove my mother wrong but simply because I found out that you had a choice to learn skills that you want to learn. I did not know it was possible before to learn so much in school. I thought college was only for the doctors, businessmen and women, lawyers and scientists of the world. It never dawned on me that I would be learning skills I wanted to learn and choosing a path that best fit me.

Even after my ‘groundbreaking’ discovery school did not get much easier for me, but I worked

 hard. In my last two years of high school I had about a 3.8 average compared to my first two years leveling out to about 2.5. It felt good to prove everyone wrong, and I did. Then, I still had hopes of being an artist, but I’ve changed I will continue to and the great part is my education can change with me. Even know, I’m thinking of changing to a theater major and I know if I hadn’t continued my education and tried so hard I wouldn’t of had a chance to figure out what I want and what best suits me. Education is, to me, important not because I want to make anyone proud of me anymore, but because I’m learning about the things that make me happy and will mold me into a person that can give back to the world. Sometimes school isn’t for everyone but if there’s a better way to learn and grow among a community of lost intellectuals just like me, let me know. I still don’t appreciate carrying around books all the time and bad school food or spending hours reading boring texts, but I know I’m going to find my place here soon.

(photo source: nces.ed.gov)

JenniferJennifer Lee is a freshman at VCU currently studying Africana Studies and English. She grew up all around Virginia and enjoys trees, sunshine, driving, and good books. She hopes to become a writer, actress and an activist. She considers herself an average student but says she has an amazing brain and she hopes to empower those that are as lost as she is.